


12 Headcanons

by soufflegirl91



Series: 007 Fest Creations [12]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 01:10:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19842418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soufflegirl91/pseuds/soufflegirl91
Summary: Does what it says on the tin. 12 headcanons about my 'verse.





	12 Headcanons

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted to Tumblr.
> 
> Didn't have the energy to write a ficlet yesterday, somehow ended up writing more than I have all fest.

1 – Q was the one to ask James out. After all of his subtle messages through music failed to pan out, he got sick of Bond’s obliviousness and decided to ninja date him. The invited Bond to an “equipment drop" at his favourite restaurant and surprised him by turning up in a fully-tailored suit. They had a lovely time, thank you for asking. 

2 – Everyone thinks Eve and Bond slept together in Macau. They did not. Eve is in a committed relationship with 001. They had met as field agents based in Hong Kong, kept in touch after 001’s promotion and finally moved in together after Eve returned to London permanently. 

3 – Q learns languages for stress relief. He now speaks French, German, Mandarin, Russian, Arabic, Urdu, Polish, Swedish, Spanish and Welsh. He’s planning to learn Turkish the next time 007 goes missing.

4 – Q and R met at uni. Q was an introverted 16 year old, R was on scholarship and loving being in London (or anywhere that wasn’t Bradford), so decided to adopt the quiet kid who didn’t socialise. She stayed at Imperial while he went over to MIT for his Masters, and they followed similar career paths, briefly working together again at MI5 before Q left to go to GCHQ. When Q was offered the job at MI6, he insisted on giving R the opportunity to join him. Their skill sets balance each other out, so they make an excellent management pair.

5 – Mallory wasn’t a double oh, but he had worked with them. He was special forces, and That Mission in Northern Ireland was a joint mission with the then-004. When he was being held by the IRA, they executed 004 for trying to free him. Mallory has never forgotten this, and despite what Bond sometimes thinks, fights as much as he can for the double oh division.

6 – Tanner used to be 008. Eighteen months after gaining his license to kill, he caught pneumonia after being pushed overboard off an ice cutter with a punctured lung. He had managed to complete the mission, but the resulting lung damage meant he could never go back into the field. He’s the most deadly pen-pusher at MI6 and they know it. 

7 – 006 collects postcards from every place he visits. He keeps them in a box in his locker, and only 007 knows about them. He has a standing instruction that James should burn them all when Alec dies, but James knows he won’t be able to do it. 

8 – Bond decided not to rebuild Skyfall, but to sell the land to MI6 as a training centre. Kincade stayed on as gamekeeper while training a replacement, then retired but kept his cottage on the land. Bond also converted one of the surviving outbuildings into a cottage for himself (and maybe Q) to get away from London every once in a while. He might be coming around to the idea of retirement, and he’s just sadistic enough to want to train the future agents.

9 – Eve's diversity network did not go unnoticed. MI5 and GCHQ have taken her recommendations on board, and the Inter-Agency Diversity Network is thriving. She’s been nominated for an OBE, which will probably be followed by a CBE and a Damehood in due course. There are also whispers that she may be the next M. 

10 – Q drinks Earl Grey on the mornings of his days off. On a normal morning, he drinks a stronger breakfast tea to get him going and switched to Earl Grey at work. When responding to “you need to get here 5 minutes ago or someone is going to die" calls in the middle of the night, he drinks coffee and lots of it. Usually, these moments are followed by multiple days in the office, so he doesn’t have to worry about the caffeine keeping him awake later. When he finally does get time off afterwards, he tries to cut right back on the caffeine until he’s back at work and the pattern starts again.

11 – Bond tried bringing tea back from missions for Q, but soon realised he only likes specific brands. Instead, he switched to local sweets and non-perishable snacks. These have the added benefit of keeping Q fed at work, and being shared amongst Q-Branch if he doesn’t like that mission’s offering. Q Branch have strange tastes, so they are happy with this scenario. Strangely, no one has yet braved the Russian lobster caramels, though the wasabi kitkats went down a treat.

12 – Q Branch do not have a designated tea fairy, they have a rota. It’s important for everyone to be able to make the right mission fuel for their colleagues, so they all have to learn. Even Q and R are included on the rota, though things do get switched around if there is a life-or-death situation on hand. No one denies that Harwinder makes the best tea, but he is terrible at coffee. Instant, he can do, but not the rocket fuel that powers the boffins. 


End file.
